can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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