4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
