dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
