You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
