have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
