Need sex. Gaining weight.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
