dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
