Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
