Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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