Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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