I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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