so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
