I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
