he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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