the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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