The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
