you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
