so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
