I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
