I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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