Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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