she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize