I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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