i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
