Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I am one with the molecules
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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