Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
another moral hangover. fuck.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm jealous of your bromance
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Of course I have a pirate flag
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
