I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
