On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so let's talk penis.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
