I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
