i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
