I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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