Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
