im drinking this country out of the recession.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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