He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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