she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Oh god it's open bar.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
