people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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