I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well you can't waste a boner
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
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