So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
