No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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