Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
