if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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