Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
