I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
