if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
