I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize