And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
