lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
