is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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