I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
