I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize