Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
bring money and cleavage
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
