If i come over, it means nothing
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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