i jhust puked up my retainher.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
