you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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