Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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