Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
