I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize