ya dads aren't the best wingmen
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
well you can't waste a boner
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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