He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
