Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Quick, to the slutcave!
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
