I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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