..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
