God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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