Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
