I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
