Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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